Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Happy Ending with a Bit of Abuse Sprinkled In

I was doing a scrapbook show at a new customer's house. There were about five ladies there. Everyone seemed to be having fun and LOVED everything I showed to them, except for one lady.

This one lady rolled her eyes at me from the beginning to the end. Every time I talked about "Acid free" and "Lignin free" paper, she would roll her eyes and try to argue with me. Try to get me to lose my cool. She made me very nervous. She didn't like anything I said.

Finally, I had enough of her and I said "Look, I am sorry that you don't like anything I say or show about this company or their product. But I love it, and it means a lot to ME! If you don't like it and no one here is interested, then I'm wasting my time and yours, so I should pack my bags and go because I'm not wanted here!" She got all red in the face and apologized. So we went on. She still made a couple more remarks.

I just had a feeling that I was not going to get any sales from this show, and no scheduled shows at all. I knew for sure this annoying lady was not going to order anything from me, and frankly I was fine with that.

When the ordering time came, the mean lady said "My daughter's 10th birthday is coming up and she LOVES scrapbooking. I would love to get her this kit." I almost fell off the chair, as it was the biggest kit Creative Memories had back then. The kit cost around $300.

I did not expect that at all from her. She hated everything and anything I showed and did, and at the end she was the one that ordered the most, and she even scheduled a show!!! Go figure... You just never know...

I was frustrated during the show, but I went home with a smile!

-N.F., Hawaii

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Namby Pamby

This happened to me about 9 years ago; fairly early in my CM career.

I had a customer, let's call her Namby Pamby, book me to be the "craft" at her daughter's birthday party. I only knew her very casually through one of my best customers. We set the date and I got everything ready, including arranging to take my kids to a sitter. Then a few days before, when I called to get directions, she had a BIG sob story about how her husband was renovating their house, and it wasn't done and could she possibly come over to my Creative Memories workshop room and do the craft with the kids and bring a cake for her daughter.

Even though I wasn't comfortable with the idea, I agreed because I felt bad for the child who was turning 10 and really seemed into scrapping at the home party where I originally met these people. AND, my husband would be at work all day and never know that I agreed to this nonsense. I did tell Namby Pamby that I was going to cancel taking my sons (then about 5 and 3) to a sitter, since I would be in my house and didn't see any reason to take them elsewhere just for an hour.

The day of the party arrives, and when she gets to my house, she orders pizza sent to my home (which she pays for) and has cake and ice cream in my kitchen. Oh, and she forgot plates and cups which I provided. My children got to watch the whole thing but were not included. However, siblings and moms of the birthday guests (other little boys) who I was not being compensated for, were invited to eat pizza and ice cream. My house at the time had a family room right off my kitchen, and my kids just kept looking over and I kept whispering "Its OK guys" to them. Now, I get that my kids are not her party guests, but I thought it was kind of rude to do all this and basically take over my house with her three children and with four other families.

At the end, she paid me $35 for the five girls that were the party guests ($7 each was what I quoted her to come to her house and do a page for her daughter from each kid). She put the pages in an album that my good customer gave her for free. AND, left to go home to make dinner for her husband "who will be so mad if I am not there" and LEFT one of the child guests at my house whose mom was on the way!

BOY, did I learn a lot from this experience! Namby Pamby still attends crops hosted by my good customer and I never email her ANYTHING or keep in touch with her in any way. When she does pop up at an event, she always asks me 40 questions about all products, dithers back and forth about "what should I buy" and buys nothing. AND, I heard from others who know her, that her husband is a lazy slug and that the renovation/house being torn up thing is going on fifteen years now, and that she uses that excuse all the time!

I took my kids out for pizza and ice cream that day too, to make it up to them and they still make faces whenever I tell them Namby Pamby came to an event.

Its been about 3 years now so maybe I am finally rid of her. I know its not nice, but deserved.
- M.P., Delaware

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Thanks for Letting me Know!

I had a show for Creative Memories scheduled with a young lady and her friends on a Sunday. I had talked to her on the phone that week to make sure that all was well, and everything was on still. I had talked to her couple of days before that Sunday, as well.

Saturday evening I packed all my bags, made sure I had gifts and everything that I needed.

Sunday I get in the car drive to her house, got lost on the way because I didn't know the area at all, and no one was picking up the phone at her house.

I finally find the house. Got my things out of the car, knocked on the door. I was let in and the young lady came down stairs with "Oh, hi. Is it this Sunday?"

Me: "Yes!"

Her: "Oh, well, I'm leaving right now so I can't do it."

Me: "What? We talked twice this week about this Sunday, and all was OK."

Her: "Yeah, but I'm leaving, so OK, bye!!!"

She opened her door, left, and I was left standing there in the living room with my bags.

All I could do was just take a deep breath, pick up my bags open the door and get in my car and drive away.

- N.F. Hawaii

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

10,000 Maniacs

I just wanted to pop in to say that over the weekend, the Consultant Calamities counter registered 10,000 visits!

How cool is that?!

Thousands of you have come to look at these zany stories, and some of you have also sent in stories. Thanks so much for reading this site, and coming back to read it, as well as joining my Consultant Calamities Facebook page.

However...with this good news comes some (potentially?) bad news...

I am running out of stories!

I've been trying to promote this site as much as possible, and ask around for stories as much as I can...I've even paid for some advertising, and posted my link on other sites. However, funds are very limited for this sort of thing, and I just don't have the budget for any more advertising...I need YOUR help to keep this site going!

Please send this link to your friends and ask if they have any stories, especially those who are Home Party Consultants or ex-Consultants. I want to keep the fun going...and if you have a story, please send it in! It doesn't have to be long or overly elaborate.

I know that there is (unfortunately!) a lot of bad Home Party behavior out there...I just need to find more examples of it.

I do have some stories of my own that I can post, but they won't last forever, either...Please help me to keep the fun going! When the stories run out, they run out...I hate to do that, though.

Thanks for reading,
- The Calamity Queen

Monday, July 13, 2009


At a scrapbooking party that I was the Consultant for, I was enthusiastically telling the guests how great the cup holder was so I decided to hook one onto the table. I insisted it worked great and put someone's drink in it.

Not five minutes later, the holder (and the drink) went crashing to the floor, spilling drink all over the hostesses album cover and some guests purses. Ugh! I was so embarrassed!

- K. M., Massachusetts

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Who Said That?!

I was at an adult toy party as a guest and the Consultant was really great. She was funny, kept the crowd going, and still managed to cover all of what she wanted to present.

One of the things she did to keep the room hoppin’ was a quiz-type game. She asked a number of curious and suggestive questions that elicited big eruptions of laughter and silliness.

Meanwhile, I was kind of quietly chatting and giggling with a friend toward the back of the room when she asked this question: "What is the Male G-Spot?" Reflexively, and not all that loudly, I answered “The prostate gland”.

Suddenly, more than half the room turned to look at me (I die of embarrassment when any kind of public attention is drawn to me, ahhh!) and the Consultant said, "That’s Right! The Prostate!" Which drew everyone’s attention back to her until a friend of mine turned back from the front and said:

"Wait a minute! How did you know that!!!


- Anonymous

Monday, July 6, 2009

Tastes Like Chicken

Some friends and I attended a show offered by Pampered Chef. The Consultant was teaching us how to prepare a few different meals so that we could have all the ingredients prepped, cooked, and frozen for quick weeknight meals.

She was all excited talking about how to save time with her recipes, etc. The hostess chose chicken for the meals. While the Consultant was going through the motions of showing products as she was putting the meals together, she started cutting the chicken and touching it with her bare hands. She then proceeded to pick up all these spices and touch her products to show them NUMEROUS times without ever washing her hands.

I made a mental note after a few woman gasped to never touch any of the products she fondled during her presentation.

I hope no one left with salmonella poisoning!

- D.Z., New Hampshire

Friday, July 3, 2009

Thanks for Nothing!

I remember one customer who never bought very much who called me one day and asked me to label every sheet of paper with what color it was on the back of it for her. She said she would be at my house at 5:30 to pick them up.

Well, I wanted to be accommodating and a good Creative Memories Consultant, so I left early from my good paying job that day and came home and tagged every damn piece of paper with the color name. I had it ready for her.

She never showed.

Later that night or maybe it was the next, I don’t remember, she called and said she got tied up that day and couldn’t make it. She never did come get that paper. I’m still finding sheets of those papers around my house even after we flooded from Katrina. It got put in boxes I guess, and stored away. All those little tags with the colors written out. She never bought anything. Never called again. Frankly, I wouldn’t sell anything to her again if she called. That type of customer I don’t need.

- T. T., Mississippi