Friday, August 28, 2009

There's a Mouse in the House

We rented a local hall for our National Scrapbook Day event. We go the night before to set up, and much to our dismay, the hall is filthy! We’ve rented from here before and never found the place in this condition.

My downline and I spent our evening cleaning the place, wiping down tables, cleaning the bathroom, practically sanitizing the kitchen and setting up our displays. There is evidence that the local mouse population has taken up residence over the winter. As we finish setting up for the evening, we cover all of the tables with tablecloths and are proud of our accomplishments.

The following morning, we arrive to find that the mice have been checking out the facilities. We change the tablecloths, and once again sanitize the kitchen countertops. Our guests arrive and we proceed with our event. As the day progresses so does the rain. By mid-afternoon, we are in the midst of a major rainstorm. It is pouring cats and dogs outside!

The mice start getting restless and start showing themselves…. first in the kitchen! Out of the corner of my eye, I see one go running across the countertop! We keep wiping everything down with Clorox and are practically taking turns in the kitchen making noise to keep them hidden away. Then all of a sudden, we have rain water coming into the hall from a doorway, so we abandon our kitchen duty to try and avert the rain water.

All of a sudden, we hear a customer scream! A mouse has just run across the floor! It runs into a closet, so we take bags and stuff them in the cracks to keep it in the closet. Meanwhile, I see another mouse in the kitchen!

Needless to say, between the rain and the mice, we all decide to call it a day! We ended up getting most of our rental money back and have never gone back there again!!!

H.N., Connecticut

Friday, August 21, 2009

A Tisket, A Tasket, A Skull Inside My Basket

I'm a dentist, and years back when I was taking gross anatomy in dental school, the university issued us each a "bone box" containing several real human bones to use as study aids. Since the skull was the focus of most of the dental-specific study, I found myself needing a way to carry the skull with me to classes and study sessions without having to bring the entire, foot-locker-sized bone box with me. Not only did I want to protect the skull, which the school would have charged me hundreds of dollars to replace, but I also wanted to conceal the fact that I was carrying a skull on the subway. So I put it in my Longaberger cake basket. It fit perfectly.

Some time later, my mom was at a Longaberger party where the consultant was talking about novel and unexpected ways to use Longaberger baskets. The party guests weren't participating very much, and the consultant was quite persistent, trying to get them to volunteer unusual ways they have used baskets they own, to give ideas to the other guests.

Finally, my mom speaks up: "Well, my daughter says the cake basket is the perfect size to carry a human skull."

- S.O., Pennsylvania

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Back when I first started hosting scrapbook workshops, my customers were often squished around my kitchen table. One night, a customer asked to use the star pattern from my custom cutting system. I handed it over and she proceeded to cut her shape out of her paper and leave a permanent star etched in my kitchen table!! Oops, she forgot to use her cutting mat!!!

Luckily, with time and lots of day to day abuse by my children, the etch has worn away and can only be found if you really look for it!

- H.N. Connecticut

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Stood Up, Yet Again...

This was my first workshop after we moved to Hawaii. The workshop started at 9am and was going till 3pm and there were going to be about 6 ladies attending. I had talked to everyone that was coming the night before, and all was good.

I set out tables, made food. I had Tastefully Simple cheese balls and crackers and other snacks. I mean, I went all out.

One lady called to let me know that she was on her way with the 3 other ladies that were coming. An hour later she called to let me know that she was still coming but she couldn't find my house. OK.... I told her where I lived again.... Well, she never came.... Oh, and did I say that that lady lived next street over from me? It was only a 3 min drive from her house to mine. And she got lost and never made it... Still don't know what happened to her and the other ladies.

My husband took our then 3 year old to the park to play so we wouldn't have any distractions. He was out with her for a while. Needless to say, that when he came back after lunch time I was the only one sitting at the tables eating my snacks and scrappin. I was so upset. No one even called to let me know that they were not going to make it.

-N.F., Hawaii

Monday, August 10, 2009

You're Never Too Old

I hosted a Passion Party earlier this year for my Mom's Group. I was so excited, as were the ladies who were attending. Then the Consultant showed up...

A Passion Party is a party where you can buy stuff to put a little "wink and a nudge" into your love life. The Consultant showed up with her 75 year old mother.

Yes, you read that right...75 year old MOTHER! Here is this woman, ready to sell us sex toys, and she brings along someone who reminds me of my Grandma! I had no idea she was bringing her, she had never mentioned it, but what was I supposed to do? Make the mom wait in the car?

Now, even though the Consultant was selling bedroom goodies, you would have thought she would have dressed sexy/professional. Nope...for the entire duration of the party, we could see her bootie and boobie. She was dressed like something out of the Junior's department circa 1995. Tight, and spandex.

If you thought the 75 year old Mom wasn't enough, then how about the fact that the Consultant informed us that we could use strawberry-flavored, edible nipple cream to soothe sore breastfeeding nipples! Yup...breastfeeding "tips" at a Passion Party.

We had the best time, not because of the product she was selling, but just because our Consultant was so far off her rocker that all 13 of us in attendance could not believe what we had just seen! It was great!

- K.P., California

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Never-Ending Party

I went to a Pampered Chef Party one Friday evening after work. It began at 6:30 pm, but my friend and I got lost on the way there and didn’t show up until a little after 7 pm. Thank goodness for that!

The hostess was a very good friend of the Consultant. Also, the hostess was leaving the next morning for a two-week vacation. So the Consultant was making 5 meals for the hostess’ family to enjoy upon their return. Plus, she made a cake and a soup for the party attendees.

We got to watch as the five meals were prepared and put into the freezer. The cooking demonstrations were finally done around 9:30 pm. At that point I was so tired, I just wanted to go home. I wanted to make a purchase, but the Consultant was cleaning everything up and packing all her stuff. She told me I could just go to her website and enter in my order. I did eventually go to the website and order, but used a different Consultant. One whose party I had attended before and who actually helped me to place my order at the original party.

- Anonymous

Saturday, August 1, 2009

A Home Party of a Different Sort

I was a Mary Kay rep in the early 90's when I was about 19 years old. A friend of a friend contacted me about having a "Mary Kay party" (I think they're called classes now). She said she'd have 5 guests and she asked me what they would be doing for the party. Using the MK lingo at the time, I said we'd be doing a facial and a makeover. The "party" was scheduled for a Friday night. I was so excited! This was only my second party!

I played phone tag with the guests for a while, finally nailed them all down to interview them and put my case together making sure I had the correct colors and formulas for each girl. I got all dolled up, as Mary Kay requires, and drove 45 minutes (on a 2 lane dimly lit highway) only to pull up to yard full of cars and loud music blaring from her house. I wondered if she forgot our appointment. No, she hadn't, my hostess tells me extra girls showed up and instead of 5 we'd be a party of 12 now!! Isn't that great?! Ummm, yeah, except they all appeared to be intoxicated. I could tell by the fact that they were dancing everywhere, including the table I needed to set up on.

The music is turned off and I start to set up. My hostess gets everyone seated and then informs them that I'd be giving each girl a facial and then doing their make-up so they could go out after. I got concerned real quick. I had told her on the phone that THEY'D be giving THEMSELVES a facial. (Side note: I hated used the word facial because I knew people thought "spa facial" when all it was was cleaning your own face with MK products. It felt misleading.)

I instructed the girls on how to start cleaning their skin and then the complaints started. They thought they were coming to get a facial and their make-up done! I explained to them that I couldn't touch their face, etc. and they wanted to know, could I make an exception? No.

Then they complained because I wasn't applying their make-up myself! I explained I wasn't a cosmetologist (and honestly had no idea how to apply make-up...MK doesn't actually teach you that.) I also said that this was a SALES presentation for Mary Kay products. That's when I realized they had all been expecting some type of free spa night where they'd get facials and made up so they could go out on the town afterwards. They had no intention of buying any products! Oh well, I did the best I could for the rest of the presentation, figuring I was, at least, getting a little practice in. Five hours of my time, gone forever. I got out of MK shortly thereafter. It was just not for me.

- V, Louisiana